I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
