He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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