okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dear god my vagina.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
