i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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