Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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