I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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