Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
