Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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