I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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