Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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