hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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