After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
