Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
