I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
