Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
