Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
