I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
no you cant smoke seaweed
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Can I color on your dick again?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i now understand why vodka
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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