Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
