It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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