They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
