therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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