Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
how does that bad decision feel?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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