We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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