Heybabeimwearingurpanties
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
