I'm so fucking centered right now
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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