Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
