I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
