Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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