I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
