all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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