yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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