It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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