Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
