then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
