You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.