no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
