I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.