so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
