I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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