You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
