apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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