bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
