is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
