We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have post one night stand depression
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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