where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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