The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
