Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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