the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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