Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
