Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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