I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize