my being single is dangerous.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn