he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
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I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer