Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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