Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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