You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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