good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The cops high fived after they tackled you
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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