I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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