is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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