Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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