Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I love you.
Bad choice
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
