It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just puked most of my soul out..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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