Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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