can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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