Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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