I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
