some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
